Friday, March 23, 2007

Ten Cents

You know I hate being poor, more then that I hate feeling poor. I am just plain tired of it. Is it too much to ask to just make enough money to pay my bills, have health insurance and take my wife out someplace nice to eat once or twice a month. Now I know I am not doing things like I am supposed to do. We are a one car family, we don't have any addictions (unless you count gaming, but I haven even been able to buy a frickin book in six months....or more), we don't want our son to have to go into daycare, and our dream is to be single income. Why is this so hard.
First we have to pay out of pocket to have our next kid, because God forbid any insurance company would pay for midwifery care (you know the low risk to mother and child must be more then they can stomach), and this stupid F'ing, back water, war mongering, bigot encrusted, pig farking state will not let my wife try to have our next child without major life threatening surgery (that is if we go to a hospital, hence the midwives).
Second, apparently debts from eleven or more years ago can just show up, you know, at random. And if we don't think we owe them money, though they must be right and we must be wrong after all we don't have records back eleven and twelve years, so they must be right. Why cant I go back to someone I knew twelve years ago and tell them they owe me money and force them to pay it (just because you don't remember borrowing two and a half million dollars from me doesn't mean you didn't, now pay up, cause I said so, and you have no proof you didn't). Its just ok if your the government.
Well I guess I know why it is so hard, because society sucks (and it sucks bad), it cares more about money then it does about people, I am just a credit score with legs that if I don't produce then to hell with me, and anyone who depends on me. Damn capitalism anyway...
So here I sit the day after I got payed with nothing in my bank account (ok, not nothing, but it might as well be). At least we have groceries, Traci gets payed from her new job in a week, we have half a tank of gas, and I know if worst comes to worst our friends out here wont let us starve. I am just tired of it you know. Really really tired of it.
Well hey we only owe the midwives about two thousand dollars more right, and only so much can go wrong that costs lots of money, right. Here is to hoping that Traci's pay check next Friday lasts more then 24 hours, and we can have an end in sight. How many years now have I been poor and looking for that end.
Well better to be poor and happy then be rich and miserable, I just would like a little lower stakes on the poverty so I can go back to being happy with my family (even if poor).